I did what the doctor told me. Pelvic floor exercises.
Every day - or at least I tried. Squeeze, hold, release. I could feel the tension. I could feel something engaging. So I kept going, figuring it was only a matter of time.
But the leaks didn't stop. And the longer it went on, the less I believed it was going to work. Not because the exercises felt wrong - I could feel something happening when I squeezed.
I just couldn't understand why that wasn't translating into actual control.
I tried different pads. Tried cutting out coffee. Tried not drinking water after 4pm. I managed it. Every single day I managed it. But managing it and fixing it are two different things, and I was tired of managing.
Then about six weeks ago I was at a physical therapy appointment for my lower back - completely unrelated - and my PT asked how my recovery was going. I don't know why, but I told her the truth. All of it.
She nodded. No pity. No discomfort.
She just said something that changed the way I understood the whole problem.
She said:
"David, you're doing the right exercise. But feeling the squeeze and tension isn't the same as building real strength. Your pelvic floor is activating — but it's not getting stronger. It's like flexing your arm hard in the mirror. You can feel it working. But without something to push against, nothing's actually changing."
I just sat there for a second. Because it was so obvious. I've worked with my hands my whole life. I know how muscles work.
You don't get stronger by flexing into thin air - you need something to push against. And for five months I'd been squeezing into nothing and wondering why I still felt out of control.
She explained that the pelvic floor is a muscle like any other. It needs active resistance to rebuild real strength - the kind that actually gives you control back.
Not just activation. Not just the feeling of a squeeze. Real strength that holds when you cough, stand up, or make it to the bathroom.
That night I looked into it and found a trainer called Fortis.
It's built around exactly what she described - resistance-based pelvic floor training. You sit down, place it between your knees, and squeeze against real physical opposition.
(Below is a video of me using it)